I know

I really don't need to blog again today. There's just a lot swimming around in my head. Today felt so busy. I look around and not much appears to be changed. There are fresh prints in front of me. A couple are even on fiber. I still struggle with finding a reason to become absorbed in the enigma (and sometimes elitism) that is fiber printing. It looks nice and all. I can see a slightly better diffusion with regards to grain, maybe a little more depth, maybe...but...am I just trying to find a reason? It is not solid.

Further, there are a lot more groceries, dirty dishes, signed receipts, music from the library, on and on. There is also that list of things largely undone. I should be tackling one item on it right now for a meeting tomorrow. It isn't coming along, at all.

What swims through my brain is a lot of the same. The images of past are so slight. Nagging worry about the future is present. Simply not knowing what step is best is dull torture. In the midst of mild turmoil tempered with 65 degree days with light breezes there is the underlying mess of things left undone. What's worse is a growing apathy towards it. I do things not on the list. I must have pulled 30 dandelions from the grass in a brief flurry. My intention was to relax on the patio with the dying light of the sun shining through a beer bottle in front of me. It sort of happened. (even in doing, another left undone, or worse, poorly done)

Maybe I am just tired. Slumber hasn't been very restful. A shame with all this great sleeping weather.

Could be I just need sleep. Could be I just need to step and not know.